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Experiencing denial, especially when it recurs often, is far from pleasant. A publisher is declining your work, delivering a clear “Nope.” Being an author, I am no stranger to rejection. I began proposing articles 50 years back, right after completing my studies. Over the years, I have had multiple books rejected, along with article pitches and countless essays. In the last score of years, specializing in commentary, the refusals have multiplied. On average, I face a rejection frequently—totaling over 100 each year. In total, denials in my profession run into thousands. Today, I might as well have a master’s in rejection.

But, does this seem like a complaining tirade? Not at all. Since, now, at the age of 73, I have accepted being turned down.

In What Way Did I Achieve This?

A bit of background: At this point, nearly everyone and their relatives has given me a thumbs-down. I’ve never counted my success rate—doing so would be very discouraging.

For example: not long ago, a publication nixed 20 submissions one after another before approving one. Back in 2016, at least 50 book publishers declined my book idea before one gave the green light. Later on, 25 literary agents rejected a book pitch. An editor even asked that I submit articles less frequently.

The Seven Stages of Setback

When I was younger, every no stung. I felt attacked. It seemed like my creation was being turned down, but who I am.

As soon as a piece was turned down, I would begin the process of setback:

• Initially, disbelief. What went wrong? How could these people be overlook my ability?
• Next, refusal to accept. Surely they rejected the mistake? Perhaps it’s an administrative error.
• Third, rejection of the rejection. What do they know? Who made you to judge on my labours? It’s nonsense and their outlet stinks. I deny your no.
• Fourth, anger at those who rejected me, then anger at myself. Why do I subject myself to this? Could I be a masochist?
• Subsequently, bargaining (often accompanied by false hope). What will it take you to acknowledge me as a exceptional creator?
• Then, depression. I lack skill. Additionally, I can never become successful.

This continued through my 30s, 40s and 50s.

Excellent Examples

Of course, I was in excellent fellowship. Stories of authors whose books was at first rejected are legion. The author of Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Almost every renowned author was initially spurned. If they could persevere, then maybe I could, too. The sports icon was cut from his high school basketball team. The majority of Presidents over the recent history had earlier failed in races. The filmmaker estimates that his script for Rocky and desire to appear were turned down 1,500 times. He said rejection as an alarm to rouse me and persevere, instead of giving up,” he has said.

The Seventh Stage

Later, when I entered my 60s and 70s, I entered the final phase of rejection. Understanding. Now, I better understand the various causes why a publisher says no. To begin with, an reviewer may have recently run a comparable article, or be planning one underway, or be contemplating something along the same lines for someone else.

Alternatively, more discouragingly, my idea is of limited interest. Or maybe the reader feels I don’t have the experience or stature to fit the bill. Or is no longer in the business for the work I am submitting. Maybe was busy and read my piece too fast to recognize its value.

Go ahead call it an epiphany. Any work can be rejected, and for any reason, and there is almost not much you can do about it. Certain explanations for denial are always not up to you.

Manageable Factors

Some aspects are your fault. Let’s face it, my proposals may from time to time be ill-conceived. They may not resonate and appeal, or the message I am attempting to convey is not compelling enough. Or I’m being too similar. Maybe something about my writing style, notably commas, was unacceptable.

The key is that, despite all my decades of effort and setbacks, I have achieved widely published. I’ve written multiple works—my first when I was middle-aged, the next, a memoir, at 65—and more than 1,000 articles. Those pieces have appeared in publications major and minor, in regional, worldwide platforms. My first op-ed appeared when I was 26—and I have now written to various outlets for 50 years.

However, no blockbusters, no book signings in bookshops, no features on TV programs, no Ted Talks, no book awards, no big awards, no Nobel Prize, and no national honor. But I can better handle no at this stage, because my, humble successes have eased the jolts of my setbacks. I can afford to be reflective about it all today.

Valuable Rejection

Denial can be educational, but only if you heed what it’s attempting to show. If not, you will almost certainly just keep interpreting no’s the wrong way. So what insights have I acquired?

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